I woke up this morning feeling kind of empty.. Like something is missing. I don't feel for anything at the moment. It's a weird sort of feeling. Like everything I'm doing just isn't enough. With working all the time, chasing around my ultra demanding kid, and blogging I just feel like something major is missing.. Is this depression creeping back in? Fuck...

I've totally been there.....

Words can't express how upset I am that Amy is gone. She was such a raw fucking talent and it truly saddens me that she has demised to the one thing that shot her up to stardom. Drugs...Alcohol....Her music will never be forgotten and she will be legendary. I knew she would go sooner than later, but I wasn't expecting this soon. Whenever I was down and out I could always turn to an Amy Winehouse album and cry it out and feel better later. R.I.P Amy Winehouse...

Today I was browsing the net and I came across this blog called Advanced Style.. It's a pretty great blog that showcases the fashion and style of older folks. I love it and I hope when I am 90 and I am as bright, vibrant, and beautiful as these women are :)

Check out more over at Advanced Style!

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat.
Sooner or later they all will be gone.
Why dont they stay young?-Alphaville "Forever Young"

I blogged about these babies over at Style-Amore.com a few days ago and finally copped them yesterday. I LOOOOOVE Hello Kitty and Vans and I think I may end up getting this pair next...



Yeah I'm definitely eternally 5 years old and loving every moment of it :)



PEACE OUT!

So this weekend in NYC there will be a life-sized version of Where's Waldo...This excites me in so many ways.. Get more info over at www.whereswaldonyc.info/

(Thanks Refinery29 for putting me on to this!)

Gross Magic - Sweetest Touch by TheSoundsOfSweetNothing
Reminiscent of 90's grunge and everything I love.

Dopeness. Photography by Pedro Matos for Vogue Italia

Perhaps I really am at my quarter-life crisis, but I feel like I still have so many things I need to accomplish...I'm finally starting my Burlesque career and I'm excited..I can't wait to start performing.



I finally was able to get to the Nascar Sprint Cup over at Pocono Raceway last weekend and I had another epiphany...I want to learn how to drive a stock car.. I think it would be cool..





(Have I mentioned how freakin awesome pit passes are?)


I also feel the need to travel around the U.S. There are so many countries around the world that I have yet to see, but how can I travel outside of the country again if I haven't even been to freakin been to Boston?

:sigh:

Thought this was kind of a cool photo from Henry Leutwyler's book “Neverland Lost: A Portrait of Michael Jackson“.

Via Trendland.net

Ted Noten created two pieces in a provocative seven-part series titled “Necessities for a Woman”. The Chanel001 gun conceals Chanel lip gloss, an antique hairpin, a 18k gold toothpick, a perfume bottle with an 18k gold mechanism, a 50 gram 24k gold bar, a USB stick, and a Viagra pill."

I think this is a pretty dope concept. I need this in my life..Minus the Viagra pill :) Check out more of Ted Noten's work over at OrnamentumGallery.com

This is actually kinda hot...

I am late as hell with this..Actually about 10 months late, but the pictures from this Vogue Nippon spread were so dope, that I had to post them.

For the first time in my life in a long time I am truly happy! I have grown to appreciate people and things more and my outlook on life has totally changed. It's amazing how positive thinking and faith can truly turn things around. I am proud of myself and will continue to be thankful for all my blessings I have received (and will continue to receive). I will not allow anyone to ruin my happiness ever again. :)

One thing I cannot stand is being confronted with accusations and assumptions about things regarding myself that aren't true, especially when those things come from someone I deeply love and care about. It's hurtful and plain annoying and after dealing with it for so long it gets old. I work hard for every single thing I have from the Louboutin's on my feet..to my car parked outside..to all the nice things my son has been blessed to have. So when I have someone making assumptions about what I've done to get that stuff, or who got it for me it pisses me the fuck off. My mother, brother, aunt, and cousin have been the only people to help me in any way (they have helped with having a place for me to stay and helped with my son). Noone financially supports me (occasionally I may borrow money from my mom, but she always gets paid back). I also hate the assumption that I am also out there partying all the damn time. I am working and taking care of my son 95% of the time and I barely have time to go out and have the fun I would like to have. I don't have a ton of friends anymore (they are all an hour and a half or more away, and no one is trying to travel). I no longer feel the need to explain myself any further. I'm grown and if you, or anyone else thinks of me in a negative light then you just ain't for me. Just had to put that out there.

If you're going to do something wrong, do it big, because the punishment is the same either way. -Jayne Mansfield

I think I just had an epileptic seizure. Dope video!

(Photos taken by John from SwaggerDap)
So my little big bro released a free web copy previewing his poetry collection recently. I've been meaning to post this up for a minute, but my memory sucks. Check out his press release and download below! I'm extremely proud of him and can't wait until this hits stores. Love ya Jemar!


My Decade Press Release

In 2010, Jemar “Meezy” Souza began aspiring to be one of the best writers of his generation. At The Start of My Decade, is a poetry collection that documents a year of striving for that goal;
and Jemar hopes that it will stand as a testament for not only the beginning of his journey to success, but for anyone who is aspiring to be the best at their passion.

My Decade features 23 poems inspired by Jemar’s personal experiences; music artists: Hezekiah, Janelle Monae, Jean Grae, FKI’s Raye Rich, Kings of Leon, Tennille, and The-Dream; as well as fashion photography
from HypeBeast, Lookbook.nu, and more.

This simple and Free Web Copy is just a teaser until the final print version is designed, produced, and in stores later this year.

So have a read, and feel free to share your thoughts -meezywrites@gmail.com /
@jMEEZYs on Twitter w/ #MyDecade hashtag/
or www.SongZiGe.com.*

Download: Scribd | UserShare

Think I'm getting this tattooed on me....Not James Dean, but his quote. lol

So I was sitting here thinking to myself...And I realized the only way I will ever be truly happy is to do things on my own terms. I'm always doing whatever everyone else wishes for me to do, always trying to make everyone happy..However, at the end of the day am I happy? No. So from this day forward I'm doing WHAT I WANT.

This contains nudity. If you're offended by real nudity of real women then exit stage left.


I remembered when I discovered my first stretch mark appearing on my tummy while I was pregnant. I cried like a baby. After I gave birth to my son and my stomach was covered with stretch marks, plus I was left with a gut, and had a lovely c-section scar to match. I went into deep depression. I thought my body was ruined and I thought my man thought I was ugly. I was a model and a dancer before I got pregnant, and my body was almost perfect (I had a stretch mark here and there, but it was no big deal). Now I look back and realize how stupid I was. Society has put this label out there that stretch marks are ugly, giving birth ruins your body, you're supposed to be skinny after having a baby, and so on and so forth. It's terrible. If anything, I should of embraced my stretch marks and new body. I should of known I was beautiful. I wish someone would of been there to slam that in my head at the time. After all, I carried a healthy baby boy for 9 months without any real huge complication. Nowadays I wear my stretch marks a lot better. They've become apart of who I am. They're a lot lighter now (still noticeable), my stomach is flatter, and I'm down to 115 lbs. I have my moments of sadness still, but I snap out of it pretty damn quick.
Anyways what I'm trying to say is...Ladies, wear your bikinis proudly this summer and show off those marks (and the floppy tits, and baby gut, if you still have it). You did something miraculous..Whether you had a baby, or lost or gained a ton of weight, or whatever. Who gives a fuck what anyone wants to think? We're all hot.



All photos are from various real and beautiful models, photographers, and artists from deviantart.com.
Please click on the photos to go to each of their pages. Thanks!

I don't smoke, in fact I think it's really a bad habit and it's kinda gross...but these vintage cigarette ads are hilarious! Can't get away with any of these nowadays! Times sure have changed...