I don't like the way my life is right now. I feel like I'm stuck in neutral once again. I don't like this feeling. I need a big dose happiness in my life. Every time I take a step closer to happiness, I'm kicked 10 steps back. People keep saying "Don't worry, things always get better" or "Kim, just focus on your son. He's your happiness". People keep forgetting I am an individual, and I need to still have a life outside of my son. I love him so much, but I need to still need to be me every once in a while. I don't have the advantage a lot of moms do. I don't have my own mom down the street to drop him off when I want to go hang with my friends. I don't have a man that is willing to watch him for me so I can go and have some "me" time. I don't have anyone here. I don't have enough trust to leave him with some random ass babysitter. To top it off I have a man that I feel doesn't even want me to go and have a life. While he gets to chill at work with his friends all day long, I'm stuck at home working with my son. Anytime I even mention I want to go out he has some sideways shit to say.






Fuckery.